The Hardiness Factor: How to Be Resilient?
"It is not the breaking that makes us
strong, but the healing."
Resilience is a word we are constantly told to promote, but
we do not really know what it means. Is it just bouncing back or something much
deeper? Why some people rise after setbacks stronger, and others sink into
defeat is still a mystery. What is their secret?
Psychologists talk about this thing called “the hardiness
factor,” which is basically this cool mix of attitude and actions that lets
people not just get through tough times but actually come out stronger. But how
do you work on building this trait? And can anyone really learn it?
In his masterpiece, Thorns
Have Roses, Ira David Welch talks
about resilience by looking at commitment, control, and challenge. The three
elements described are the important elements of an attitude that can allow you
to take the rough moments in life and turn them into stepping stones for
change.
This article explores these concepts, relates them to real
life, and offers a few practical steps to help you improve your personal and
work-based resilience.
What is the Hardiness Factor?
At its core, the hardiness factor is a set of psychological
tools. It allows us to deal better with life's unexpected twists and bounce
back stronger from setbacks. Resilience does not mean we avoid difficulties; it
means learning to approach problems with courage and resourcefulness. Psychologists
note three basic elements of resilience:
- Commitment: Keeping oneself
engaged and active even in tough times.
- Control: Anyone can change
their circumstances.
- Challenge: Looking at
challenges as opportunities to learn and grow.
In this book Thorns
Have Roses, Welch shares how
these principles can make a difference in the way one deals with challenges.
But how does this work out in the real world?
Commitment: Staying in the Game
Strength is not only about showing up but staying engaged
when it hurts. It is about hanging onto your goals and values.
What Does Commitment Look Like?
Commitment often means staying with your goals and
relationships, even when things are hard. It's about being there, doing your
best, and not giving up at the first sign of trouble.
A Real-Life Example
Consider the story of the "silly old ram" the
writer shares in his book. The ram was determined to butt a hole in the dam,
and despite countless failed attempts, it succeeded. The lesson? Commitment can
break through even the toughest barriers.
Practical Tip
Set clear and meaningful goals. Write them down and remind
yourself why they matter. When challenges arise, reconnect with your “why” to
stay motivated.
Control: Taking the Reins
You cannot control everything, but you can control how you
react. Control what you can to become more resilient.
Why Control Matters
Feeling like you cannot fight against the challenges in
front of you makes tasks impossible. In reality, however, resilient people know
what they can focus on regarding their control.
Psychology Meets Practice
The Serenity Prayer, found in Thorns Have Roses, expresses this idea clearly: “Give me the calm
to accept what I cannot change, the bravery to change what I can, and the
understanding to know the difference.”
Practical Tip
If you face a problem, ask yourself only this: What can I do
to correct it? Put all your energy into trying to solve that rather than
complaining about things beyond your control.
Challenge: Redefining Obstacles
If our biggest battles are our greatest teachers, we grow
more from looking at the problem as opportunities to grow.
The Opportunity in Adversity
Resilient people do not see hard situations as obstacles;
they see them as puzzles to solve. This change in thinking helps us face tough
times with curiosity and determination.
From the Book
Author tells the story of a woman who was diagnosed with
multiple sclerosis and found unexpected thankfulness in her situation. Her
illness taught her to be kind and made her relationships stronger—a strong
reminder that challenges can change us for the better.
Practical Tip
Have you ever been knocked down? Well, the next time, treat
it as being given a chance to learn. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this?
How could it make me stronger?
Practical Steps to Build Resilience
Practicing resilience doesn't just happen overnight. Rather, it's a process that takes time and small steps to achieve perfection. You have to train to get better at handling pressure. Here's how to do it:
1. Develop
a Growth Mindset
The mentality that lets you know that abilities and
circumstances get better with effort. Let yourself know that setbacks are part
of the process and not the end.
2. Build a Support System
Resilience is not done alone. Keep people around you who
encourage and build you up, much like the community, the book stresses the
importance of community in overcoming hardships.
3.
Practice Self-Care
You cannot be strong when you are extremely exhausted.
Ensure that you sleep well, exercise, and do things that give you energy and a
good mood.
Why Thorns Have Roses Should Be Your Next Read?
In Thorns Have Roses,
Ira David Welch skillfully combines
personal stories, psychological ideas, and helpful advices to show how being
resilient can change lives. The book looks at the hardiness factor, showing how
commitment, control, and challenge help find strength when things are indeed
tough.
His work has stories that inspire and advice that makes
sense. It is important for anyone who wants to deal with life's challenges and
find the good things. So, what are you waiting for? Grab your copy right now.
Finding Strength in Every Thorn…….
Resilience isn’t just about avoiding hard times; it’s about
growing from them. Ira David Welch says
it well, “The future is open, and because it is open, I can hope.”
When life gives you problems, remember to be strong. Just
keep going and do what you can. I don't see problems as opportunities to learn
and grow.
Every small step makes you more ready for whatever comes your way in life. What challenge will you face today? The road may be bumpy, but if you keep at it, the reward is great!
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